So we left off talking about how a good opinion opener can open any set, anytime, anywhere. If you're going to figure out how to sexually attract women this is the next tool to add to your belt.
The opinion opener should become your opener of choice in most instances. Now we are going to look at a different type of opener, it is still indirect because the intent of the opener is not to convey interest. This time we are going to take it a step further and actually say something to potentially dis-include yourself from being a potential suitor. This type of opener is also used to make sure that your target knows that you do not think that she has more value than you. Due to this fact the delivery of this type of opener has to be delivered appropriately. For example you are standing next to your target at the bar and you look over and notice that she has fake nails. So you say "I really like your nails, are they real?" HB: "Oh thanks, but no." You: "Oh well they still look nice I guess."
The conversation would continue from there but now the HB starts from the bottom position. No girl wants to admit that her hair, nails, eyelashes, or boobs are fake as a first impression. You continue give DHV's (Demonstrations of Higher Value) while she now tries to work her way back into your good graces by trying to prove that even though her nails are fake that she isn't.
Another example of this would be saying "Wow I really like your outfit it must be really popular because I saw a girl at the last bar I was at wearing the same thing." Even though you are complimenting them on one level by commenting about the outfit being worn by someone else you make her feel like she now has to prove that she is original. All of these are tactics used to sexually attract women. Now this should only be used with very attractive women HB9 or better. Using this with a HB7 or HB8 can potentially hurt their feelings and destroy the set.
The introduction of a neg (A comment used to pick on your target and lower her respective value). Now a neg should never be used to degrade women or truly hurt their feelings. Very attractive women are use to guys being truly mean to them especially if they have just turned that guy down. So you don't want to make them shut down you just want to give them a reason to want to prove their worth to you. Did you see that, the secret to sexually attracting women; make them prove their worth to you, not the other way around.
So there is the last component of the opener and there are a ton of them out there. The best openers are relevant to the situation and don't convey interest. So keep on learning and I'm Out!
http://www.squidoo.com/pickupwomen
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Online Dating Tips To Help You Succeed
So far in 'No Drama Online Dating', I have attempted to cover both the very basics of online dating, as well as some more advanced tips and suggestions that you should bear in mind and put into action, to give yourself the greatest chance of success.
So, here would be a very good point to summarize most of the key points already covered in this book. First, focus on getting your profile right.
It's already been explained in detail just how important it is to get your profile spot on the nail, and why you simply cannot afford to try to work with any online dating website that does not allow you to have one.
Without a profile, you have no way of telling the world about you, and what you are looking for, and thus, there is equally little chance of you ever meeting someone with similar interests to you.
When creating your profile, remember that you should:
• Always use positive, happy and inviting language about both you and the person that you seek.
• Use photos to show that you are a normal cheerful person. Include as many appealing images as you can, ideally shot in differing situations, to show that you are always a cheerful and happy person.
• Think of and use the all-important key words in your profile descriptions, so that the people who search out and find your profile will know that you have many things in common. Remember to ask yourself what it is that you are looking for, in order to make sure that the key words you use do what you want them to do. The second thing that you must do is to get off your backside to take the vital first step, and do not wait for others to do so.
Stop hoping that others will find you - get active in the online dating community right now.
Remember that taking the first step will appear decisive (which is likely to help create a positive fist impression) and it also puts you in control of the situation to an extent, too.
Your profile is designed to attract them. But it cannot do the whole job for you. You are still required to make the required effort if you want to stand any chance of finding your perfect match.
Once you do actually get up the courage to make contact with a person, and meet with them, be sure that you have lots of interesting questions, so that it becomes relatively easy to keep the conversation going.
If you do not, then you are really never giving yourself any chance at all of success, and are basically wasting your time.
Remember that you only have a limited amount of backand- forth emails or chats in which to get their telephone number, and that if either you or they get bored, then the opportunity has probably gone forever.
On the other hand, don't try to rush things along too much, and accept that, however frustrating it might be, online dating is something that will inevitably take time to produce results.
Just like 'real world' dating, all relationships have their own unique dynamics, and you cannot try to rush things into happening too quickly.
The Best UK Dating Sites Reviewed for You
So, here would be a very good point to summarize most of the key points already covered in this book. First, focus on getting your profile right.
It's already been explained in detail just how important it is to get your profile spot on the nail, and why you simply cannot afford to try to work with any online dating website that does not allow you to have one.
Without a profile, you have no way of telling the world about you, and what you are looking for, and thus, there is equally little chance of you ever meeting someone with similar interests to you.
When creating your profile, remember that you should:
• Always use positive, happy and inviting language about both you and the person that you seek.
• Use photos to show that you are a normal cheerful person. Include as many appealing images as you can, ideally shot in differing situations, to show that you are always a cheerful and happy person.
• Think of and use the all-important key words in your profile descriptions, so that the people who search out and find your profile will know that you have many things in common. Remember to ask yourself what it is that you are looking for, in order to make sure that the key words you use do what you want them to do. The second thing that you must do is to get off your backside to take the vital first step, and do not wait for others to do so.
Stop hoping that others will find you - get active in the online dating community right now.
Remember that taking the first step will appear decisive (which is likely to help create a positive fist impression) and it also puts you in control of the situation to an extent, too.
Your profile is designed to attract them. But it cannot do the whole job for you. You are still required to make the required effort if you want to stand any chance of finding your perfect match.
Once you do actually get up the courage to make contact with a person, and meet with them, be sure that you have lots of interesting questions, so that it becomes relatively easy to keep the conversation going.
If you do not, then you are really never giving yourself any chance at all of success, and are basically wasting your time.
Remember that you only have a limited amount of backand- forth emails or chats in which to get their telephone number, and that if either you or they get bored, then the opportunity has probably gone forever.
On the other hand, don't try to rush things along too much, and accept that, however frustrating it might be, online dating is something that will inevitably take time to produce results.
Just like 'real world' dating, all relationships have their own unique dynamics, and you cannot try to rush things into happening too quickly.
The Best UK Dating Sites Reviewed for You
Online Dating - Writing the Perfect Profile
Your profile is your key to attracting prospective partners on any internet dating site. Everything that your future date knows about you comes from that profile and the information they find there is what they use when deciding whether or not to contact you. This is why it is so important to get your profile right.
The first feature of a profile to catch the eye is usually the photograph. I have already covered this subject at some length in a previous article and so I will not go into great detail about the photograph here. I will just say 'Choose a picture that is recent, accurate, and presents yourself in a positive light.
After this most of your profile should be straightforward to complete. Name, Age, Location, etc. should not present too many problems, just remember to be truthful as you fill in these fields, object of completing this profile is to meet people and anything that you say in your profile that doesn't reflect the truth will soon be exposed when you meet in person.
The most difficult areas of your profile to write are usually the 'About me' and the 'Hobbies and Interests' sections. It is worth taking some time to consider what to write in these areas.
What image do you want to present? It is important to be truthful but everyone has different sides to their personality, and you need to decide how you want to appear. It's easy to write the first thing that comes into your head, but a better idea is to take a piece of paper and jot down your key personality traits and put them in order of their importance to you.
Once you have finished doing this for the 'About Me' then repeat it for the 'Hobbies and Interests' fields. Once you have written out your lists you should have a much clearer idea of how to frame your profile.
One note of caution, there is no need to list every single hobby you have ever engaged in. An overload of information will just cause unneeded confusion, and may even stop someone from contacting you. Choose two or three of your major interests and list a little about each of them, this provides the opportunity for your date to ask questions about these things when they contact you for the first time.
If you are really stuck for ideas then it can be worth taking a look at some other profiles on the site, and see how other people are presenting themselves. Don't copy another profile, but there is nothing wrong with adapting it for your own use.
The most important thing about your profile is to be yourself, you will be much more successful if you present yourself to prospective partners than if you pretend to be someone that you are not.
Peter Townsend is the founder of http://www.SouthEastLondonDating.com He has been writing and publishing articles on a variety of subjects for the last ten years. He lives in south east London with his wife Mona, and spends his time re-publishing public domain works for http://www.TownsendPublications.com
The first feature of a profile to catch the eye is usually the photograph. I have already covered this subject at some length in a previous article and so I will not go into great detail about the photograph here. I will just say 'Choose a picture that is recent, accurate, and presents yourself in a positive light.
After this most of your profile should be straightforward to complete. Name, Age, Location, etc. should not present too many problems, just remember to be truthful as you fill in these fields, object of completing this profile is to meet people and anything that you say in your profile that doesn't reflect the truth will soon be exposed when you meet in person.
The most difficult areas of your profile to write are usually the 'About me' and the 'Hobbies and Interests' sections. It is worth taking some time to consider what to write in these areas.
What image do you want to present? It is important to be truthful but everyone has different sides to their personality, and you need to decide how you want to appear. It's easy to write the first thing that comes into your head, but a better idea is to take a piece of paper and jot down your key personality traits and put them in order of their importance to you.
Once you have finished doing this for the 'About Me' then repeat it for the 'Hobbies and Interests' fields. Once you have written out your lists you should have a much clearer idea of how to frame your profile.
One note of caution, there is no need to list every single hobby you have ever engaged in. An overload of information will just cause unneeded confusion, and may even stop someone from contacting you. Choose two or three of your major interests and list a little about each of them, this provides the opportunity for your date to ask questions about these things when they contact you for the first time.
If you are really stuck for ideas then it can be worth taking a look at some other profiles on the site, and see how other people are presenting themselves. Don't copy another profile, but there is nothing wrong with adapting it for your own use.
The most important thing about your profile is to be yourself, you will be much more successful if you present yourself to prospective partners than if you pretend to be someone that you are not.
Peter Townsend is the founder of http://www.SouthEastLondonDating.com He has been writing and publishing articles on a variety of subjects for the last ten years. He lives in south east London with his wife Mona, and spends his time re-publishing public domain works for http://www.TownsendPublications.com
The 3 Stages of Courtship
There are three stages of attraction, and it is very important that you go through all three, IN ORDER.
1. Attraction
2. Comfort
3. Seduction
Now, the reason that it is important to go through each of these stages is because if you skip one, than you are going to be labeled as something.
For example, lets say that you skip stage one, and go to stage two. This is where you are going to make the girl feel good and comfortable around you. Doing this will easily drop you into the "lets just be friends" or "Nice guy" category.
Let's say that you skip the first TWO stages, and go directly to stage three. This is very dangerous, because the girl has not built attraction to you, and they aren't comfortable with you. This will drop you into the "creepy guy" category. Chances are they are going to just see you as another guy hitting on them.
Next, there is the guy that does get attraction from the women. However, he skips over the second step, and goes straight to the third step of seduction. Now, this girl has not built rapport with the guy, and she does not feel comfort with him, so he is now looked at as a "player".
The final common mistake that men make is probably the worst. Some men develop the attraction. Then they even make the girl comfortable, but they never cross that hump into the third stage of seduction. So now, the women has this guy that she is attracted to, but he is afraid to seduce her. THIS IS BAD. Women, believe it or not, want to be seduced, they just don't want men to know it, and they don't want men to jump straight to it.
So, as you can see, the only real option that you have with these stages is to go through EACH stage, and in order. You can't go from end to beginning, or middle to end. You MUST start at stage one, and go to stage three. Now, be mindful that some of these stages do not take very long to go through. You could easily build attraction and comfort in a matter of hours, or even minutes. However, it is imperative that you go through each of these steps if you want women to really like you.
Jake has been studying human behavior for years, and has many proven ways of approaching women and getting into a relationship. To learn more techniques, visit Jakes blog at http://www.meetingwomen101.blogspot.com
1. Attraction
2. Comfort
3. Seduction
Now, the reason that it is important to go through each of these stages is because if you skip one, than you are going to be labeled as something.
For example, lets say that you skip stage one, and go to stage two. This is where you are going to make the girl feel good and comfortable around you. Doing this will easily drop you into the "lets just be friends" or "Nice guy" category.
Let's say that you skip the first TWO stages, and go directly to stage three. This is very dangerous, because the girl has not built attraction to you, and they aren't comfortable with you. This will drop you into the "creepy guy" category. Chances are they are going to just see you as another guy hitting on them.
Next, there is the guy that does get attraction from the women. However, he skips over the second step, and goes straight to the third step of seduction. Now, this girl has not built rapport with the guy, and she does not feel comfort with him, so he is now looked at as a "player".
The final common mistake that men make is probably the worst. Some men develop the attraction. Then they even make the girl comfortable, but they never cross that hump into the third stage of seduction. So now, the women has this guy that she is attracted to, but he is afraid to seduce her. THIS IS BAD. Women, believe it or not, want to be seduced, they just don't want men to know it, and they don't want men to jump straight to it.
So, as you can see, the only real option that you have with these stages is to go through EACH stage, and in order. You can't go from end to beginning, or middle to end. You MUST start at stage one, and go to stage three. Now, be mindful that some of these stages do not take very long to go through. You could easily build attraction and comfort in a matter of hours, or even minutes. However, it is imperative that you go through each of these steps if you want women to really like you.
Jake has been studying human behavior for years, and has many proven ways of approaching women and getting into a relationship. To learn more techniques, visit Jakes blog at http://www.meetingwomen101.blogspot.com
Dating Tips For Men And Women - Leverage The Luck Of The Irish To Become Lucky In Love!
When you speak of the Irish, talk often turns to luck. According to Wikipedia, this can be a tongue and cheek discussion of luck, since the Irish have fallen victim to many woes over the centuries. Another entry cited that when you catch a Leprechaun, you'll get a piece of gold - which certainly would be lucky!
So how can you leverage the good luck of the Irish to turn your dating luck around? Let's base the love-life shift on the shamrock's three heart-shaped leaves:
1) Begin thinking of yourself as lucky in love
Lucky people usually think of themselves as lucky which further promotes more good luck. They expect to be lucky. So how would your love-life change if you felt lucky in love? You might feel more attractive to the opposite s*e*x. You might not fear rejection as much. You might imagine suddenly finding the love of your life. Not such a bad idea huh?
This concept mirrors "The Secret" and the Universal Law of Attraction which states "Like attracts like." What that really means is that positive thinking attracts more positive thinking. And believing you are lucky in love will attract energy that makes you - you've got it - lucky in love. What have you got to lose?
2) Follow the rainbow to find the Leprechaun's pot of gold
Or the romantic partner you've been seeking. Hmmm. How does that apply? Well, rainbows seem like a bit of magic from the Universe and Leprechauns certainly have a magical quality. So can you stretch to believe that meeting the right person for you is part of the magic of the Universe and bound to happen? People find love every day. Why not you?
Personally, on my dating journey, sometimes what pulled me through the rougher times was reminding myself that everything has a purpose (even if we don't know it.) So there must be a reason I'm doing all this to find a partner. And I chose to believe that the reasons behind it all , the good and the bad, were the lessons I needed to learn to FIND HIM. Holding onto that faith tightly, kept me going when I felt down. I got to the point where I knew undeniably that I was going to find the right partner for me. And I did. If I can do it, I know you can too.
3) Get your own piece of gold to remind yourself that you are lucky
If you did meet a Leprechaun who rewarded you with a piece of gold, you'd probably never let go of it right? Well, what if you found your own talisman to remind you of your good fortune? You could get something like :
One of those popular necklaces with a horseshoe (for more good luck of course)
A small coin stamped with lucky symbols to carry with you (Celtic stores carry them)
Or find a lucky pebble and maybe even paint it gold
The actual item doesn't matter. What does matter is that you find something that speaks to you about your lot in life and turning it around to the lucky soul you deserve to be - and truly are.
Take your luck into your own hands! Allow yourself this new belief of being lucky in love. Who knows where it will take you but expecting to be lucky in love, will definitely attract more luck to you. Here's to getting lucky - in love and life!
To get a f*r*e*e list of 50 Ways to Find Your Lover visit http://www.NeverTooLate.biz Check out the book MANifesting Mr. Right: It's Never Too Late to Find the Love You Want by Dating Coach and expert Ronnie Ann Ryan at MANifesting Mr. Right And for a Delightful Dose of Dating Advice, read her blog
So how can you leverage the good luck of the Irish to turn your dating luck around? Let's base the love-life shift on the shamrock's three heart-shaped leaves:
1) Begin thinking of yourself as lucky in love
Lucky people usually think of themselves as lucky which further promotes more good luck. They expect to be lucky. So how would your love-life change if you felt lucky in love? You might feel more attractive to the opposite s*e*x. You might not fear rejection as much. You might imagine suddenly finding the love of your life. Not such a bad idea huh?
This concept mirrors "The Secret" and the Universal Law of Attraction which states "Like attracts like." What that really means is that positive thinking attracts more positive thinking. And believing you are lucky in love will attract energy that makes you - you've got it - lucky in love. What have you got to lose?
2) Follow the rainbow to find the Leprechaun's pot of gold
Or the romantic partner you've been seeking. Hmmm. How does that apply? Well, rainbows seem like a bit of magic from the Universe and Leprechauns certainly have a magical quality. So can you stretch to believe that meeting the right person for you is part of the magic of the Universe and bound to happen? People find love every day. Why not you?
Personally, on my dating journey, sometimes what pulled me through the rougher times was reminding myself that everything has a purpose (even if we don't know it.) So there must be a reason I'm doing all this to find a partner. And I chose to believe that the reasons behind it all , the good and the bad, were the lessons I needed to learn to FIND HIM. Holding onto that faith tightly, kept me going when I felt down. I got to the point where I knew undeniably that I was going to find the right partner for me. And I did. If I can do it, I know you can too.
3) Get your own piece of gold to remind yourself that you are lucky
If you did meet a Leprechaun who rewarded you with a piece of gold, you'd probably never let go of it right? Well, what if you found your own talisman to remind you of your good fortune? You could get something like :
One of those popular necklaces with a horseshoe (for more good luck of course)
A small coin stamped with lucky symbols to carry with you (Celtic stores carry them)
Or find a lucky pebble and maybe even paint it gold
The actual item doesn't matter. What does matter is that you find something that speaks to you about your lot in life and turning it around to the lucky soul you deserve to be - and truly are.
Take your luck into your own hands! Allow yourself this new belief of being lucky in love. Who knows where it will take you but expecting to be lucky in love, will definitely attract more luck to you. Here's to getting lucky - in love and life!
To get a f*r*e*e list of 50 Ways to Find Your Lover visit http://www.NeverTooLate.biz Check out the book MANifesting Mr. Right: It's Never Too Late to Find the Love You Want by Dating Coach and expert Ronnie Ann Ryan at MANifesting Mr. Right And for a Delightful Dose of Dating Advice, read her blog
Internet Dating Safety Tips Part 1 - The Talking Phase
Internet Dating can be very exciting, especially if you're new to it. It can lead to some incredible off-line relationships, from lasting friendship to long-term love to sizzling sex encounters.
However, communicating with people over the Internet can also expose you to real danger if you're not careful. Below are some tips to keep in mind when you start talking to people online.
In the talking phase:
Be Anonymous - When you're first talking to someone you've met online, never give them your real name, phone number, home address, or real email address. It's also a good idea to check with your Internet Service Provider to make sure your personal information isn't listed in your online profile with them.
Use an alternate email service - Set up a second (or third, fourth, etc.) email address through one of the many free email services online. Below are the most popular ones. This adds another level of security to email communications between the two of you.
Free Email Services:
Hotmail
Yahoo! Mail
Google (Gmail)
Use common sense when creating your nickname - A nickname (nic) such as "hotmama1" may get you more attention (of the kind you may not want) than you bargained for. Use a nickname that is not gender specific when joining discussion groups, chat rooms, and message forums.
Common Sense - Basically, use common sense when talking to people online. You wouldn't give a stranger on the street, or even someone you met at a bar all your personal information, would you? Well, the same rules apply when talking to someone online.
After you've established the appropriate measure of trust, and you decide to meet someone you've met online, check out my article "Internet Dating Safety Tips Part 2 - The Meeting Phase" for additional tips to consider.
Will Irvin is the Webmaster for Premier Dating Online, a valuable source for Online Dating Tips, Relationship Advice, and Dating Service Reviews.
However, communicating with people over the Internet can also expose you to real danger if you're not careful. Below are some tips to keep in mind when you start talking to people online.
In the talking phase:
Be Anonymous - When you're first talking to someone you've met online, never give them your real name, phone number, home address, or real email address. It's also a good idea to check with your Internet Service Provider to make sure your personal information isn't listed in your online profile with them.
Use an alternate email service - Set up a second (or third, fourth, etc.) email address through one of the many free email services online. Below are the most popular ones. This adds another level of security to email communications between the two of you.
Free Email Services:
Hotmail
Yahoo! Mail
Google (Gmail)
Use common sense when creating your nickname - A nickname (nic) such as "hotmama1" may get you more attention (of the kind you may not want) than you bargained for. Use a nickname that is not gender specific when joining discussion groups, chat rooms, and message forums.
Common Sense - Basically, use common sense when talking to people online. You wouldn't give a stranger on the street, or even someone you met at a bar all your personal information, would you? Well, the same rules apply when talking to someone online.
After you've established the appropriate measure of trust, and you decide to meet someone you've met online, check out my article "Internet Dating Safety Tips Part 2 - The Meeting Phase" for additional tips to consider.
Will Irvin is the Webmaster for Premier Dating Online, a valuable source for Online Dating Tips, Relationship Advice, and Dating Service Reviews.
Dating 101 - Guidelines For Meeting The Love Of Your Life
As with anything, it's good to know what you want and have a plan to guide you toward your goal. This is especially true with dating due to the intense emotions involved that make things confusing. It may seem that a plan could kill the romance, but just the opposite is true. Knowing how to handle challenges allows you to relax and enjoy yourself because it creates clarity when intense emotions arise.
The purpose of creating a dating plan is to build trust with a potential partner slowly over time. This will give you the room to find out if the person you're dating is a healthy person for you. Remember, you want to fall in love with someone good for you and do it differently this time. The steps below provide a useful structure so you can be conscious and change your patterns. There are no quick fixes, but putting your focused attention on what's important does make a difference.
1. Meet in a neutral place like a cafe, especially if you've never met the person. This allows you to relax and feel safe both emotionally and physically.
2. Have your first date be a coffee date so there is a minimal investment until you know that you want to spend more time with this person. Having dinner together, especially when alcohol is involved, can compromise your ability to hold your boundaries.
3. Make your dates time limited and schedule something after your date so you can hold the boundaries. It's easy to get intoxicated and lose track of time especially when you're attracted to someone. Remember the whole idea is to remain connected to yourself while connecting with a potential partner.
4. Be clear about your sexual boundaries. How long do you want to wait before having sex with someone? If you just wait and see how you feel, you know what will happen! If you're sexual too soon, you'll lose yourself and your ability to see clearly.
5. Keep your dates with the same person to once a week at first. This will give you time to integrate your experience and see how it really feels to be with this person. Many of us know how it is to suddenly be spending every night with someone while the rest of your life fades into the background. Value yourself by keeping a balance and staying connected to other people.
This plan is a beginning and you need to find what is right for you. Relationships can be complex and unpredictable. We invite you to access our services for personal guidance to make a plan that works specifically for you. Call for a free initial phone consultation.
Lorraine Platt, LMFT
Lorraine Platt is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who supports women to create their ideal relationship. She draws from a variety of disciplines including breath and body-centered therapies. Her unique approach combines Buddhism, Breathwork, Focusing, and the work of David Deida. In addition to her Women's Groups, Couple and Individual sessions, she facilitates Single's Seminars with her husband Richard. She can be reached at 415-302-1700 or lorraine@passionpurpose.org
The purpose of creating a dating plan is to build trust with a potential partner slowly over time. This will give you the room to find out if the person you're dating is a healthy person for you. Remember, you want to fall in love with someone good for you and do it differently this time. The steps below provide a useful structure so you can be conscious and change your patterns. There are no quick fixes, but putting your focused attention on what's important does make a difference.
1. Meet in a neutral place like a cafe, especially if you've never met the person. This allows you to relax and feel safe both emotionally and physically.
2. Have your first date be a coffee date so there is a minimal investment until you know that you want to spend more time with this person. Having dinner together, especially when alcohol is involved, can compromise your ability to hold your boundaries.
3. Make your dates time limited and schedule something after your date so you can hold the boundaries. It's easy to get intoxicated and lose track of time especially when you're attracted to someone. Remember the whole idea is to remain connected to yourself while connecting with a potential partner.
4. Be clear about your sexual boundaries. How long do you want to wait before having sex with someone? If you just wait and see how you feel, you know what will happen! If you're sexual too soon, you'll lose yourself and your ability to see clearly.
5. Keep your dates with the same person to once a week at first. This will give you time to integrate your experience and see how it really feels to be with this person. Many of us know how it is to suddenly be spending every night with someone while the rest of your life fades into the background. Value yourself by keeping a balance and staying connected to other people.
This plan is a beginning and you need to find what is right for you. Relationships can be complex and unpredictable. We invite you to access our services for personal guidance to make a plan that works specifically for you. Call for a free initial phone consultation.
Lorraine Platt, LMFT
Lorraine Platt is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who supports women to create their ideal relationship. She draws from a variety of disciplines including breath and body-centered therapies. Her unique approach combines Buddhism, Breathwork, Focusing, and the work of David Deida. In addition to her Women's Groups, Couple and Individual sessions, she facilitates Single's Seminars with her husband Richard. She can be reached at 415-302-1700 or lorraine@passionpurpose.org
Passion & Purpose - Advice For Men
Many men find intimate relationships challenging. The reality is that most of us have not experienced being clear and powerful with women. Our culture is confused regarding masculinity and is desperately lacking positive role models. We have had absent or abusive Fathers and in the words of Tyler Derden from Fight Club we are, "a generation of Men raised by Women."
Suffering in the same environment, our Mothers may have turned to us to meet the needs that should have been met by their Father or Husband. Confused and overwhelmed we tried, but were unable to make our Mothers happy. All of this has left us feeling frustrated and powerless in relationships with Women.
Most of us have a hard time understanding our partners or meeting their needs. We have trouble finding the right partner or committing to the one we are with. We may have discovered ways to feel good and have success, but the relationship we desire is elusive. The answer to our problem is retrieving our Masculine Power and understanding how to be in relationship with the Feminine.
All functional cultures have a process for initiating young men into manhood. The young man is taken by Men from the merged Boyhood world of the Mother and initiated into the individuated Manhood world of the Husband/Father. The initiate gains the power to hunt for and protect the feminine. He also learns to be clear and powerful in intimate relationship with all of Life including Women.
Our culture lacks this process and we are suffering the results. Fortunately, this is not a life sentence. This initiation is available from Men who have been given this power and wish to pass it on. Imagine knowing your purpose in life and having the passion to pursue it. Now, imagine knowing how to satisfy your partner's needs in ways that increase your power. Set your intention to find this for yourself and claim the freedom, strength, and pride that is your birthright.
Richard Platt, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Richard Platt founded Passion & Purpose, a practice committed to helping men create an inspiring relationship. Integrating wisdom traditions and modern psychology he has designed a unique program to help men discover their power.
He can be reached at richard@passionpurpose.org or 415-760-8541
The Real Cure For Neediness, Clinginess And Manipulation
HOW SOCIAL SKILLS REALLY WORK
When we talk about social skills as it relates to attracting women, the conversation typically centers around a very finite number of variables.
Most of these variables involve polar opposites with regard to what we as individuals DO and DON'T want evident in our public-facing persona.
For example, most of us would rather not resort to manipulation in order to get what we want in any aspect of life, especially as it pertains to women.
And true to deserving what we want, we absolutely positively don't want to BE manipulated either.
Further, most of us who aren't psychopathic by nature want to be seen as generous towards others in thought, word and deed. You know--the kind of person who makes everyone's life just a bit more fulfilling and exciting just by being around.
But we'd rather not become everyone's doormat in the process, either.
Perhaps most of all, we dread being "needy" or "clingy" and therefore perceived as someone who is an approval seeker. After all, those who SEEK approval are typically viewed by others as the most starved for it, and therefore those LEAST deserving of it naturally.
Yet...every normal red-blooded human being walking this planet desires to be loved...and therefore "approved", by definition.
Ironic, isn't it?
Indeed, we hear ideas about the individual importance of all of these different concepts bantered about every day, from any and every corner of the wide world of "dating advice".
But what we encounter FAR LESS OFTEN is talk about how all of those factors INTERRELATE.
It's relatively easy to dissect each facet of human interaction and describe it in a vacuum. And you bet that can be valuable conversation.
But without the ability combine all of the right moves into that ever-elusive state of "effective social skill", we flat-out will NEVER be able to attain maximum ability to deserve what we want.
So today, once and for all, I'd like to draw all of those components together for you and demonstrate how they interact...even as WE interact with one another.
Because, you see, I believe this is where the "light bulb" is going to go on for many of us.
Much of the time the advice you read about not being needy, avoiding clinginess, and eliminating manipulative tendencies plays something like a Nike ad: "Just Do It". Putting practical concepts behind such ideas can be elusive.
But we've recently discussed practical steps toward actual, tangible confidence (Real Confidence) and masculinity (Power Sessions, VIRTUOSITY) in our programs for guys, and today I'm going to give you the same level of actual, tangible answers regarding the topic at hand.
Last night I was on the phone with one of the guys who is about midway through the Ten-Plus program. He had brought up an interesting issue earlier in the day via e-mail:
"I have realized that all the things I have done to make the changes that I've been making have been for the purpose of obtaining positive responses from people. Perhaps what I've done is valid, but I did it to be liked. I did it to try and manipulate things, namely how people perceive me."
When I called him and started listening to more about what he was getting at, it occurred to me that he actually felt a bit guilty about his newfound ability to elicit very positive reactions from people thanks to recent changes in social habits.
What threw me was that he used the word "manipulate" to describe how he felt he had brought all of this about.
But when I finally grasped exactly what he was feeling, I simply-non-eloquently-stated, "Dude, you aren't a 'manipulator' simply because people are giving you the type of social approval you've always desired. You have every human right to be appreciated--to be approved of. We all want that, and it's not at all a negative thing to enjoy the logical, natural results of being generous, giving, and downright cool towards people. And there's no GUILT in being attractive to women"
The words were more of an epiphany to him than I could have dreamed while I was uttering them.
And the more we discussed, the more the social concepts that repeatedly vex those who struggle with women (and indeed all things social, in many cases) started coming together before our very eyes.
In reality, being AUTHENTIC about wanting to make the lives of those around you better NATURALLY begets approval from those around you.
Others appreciate your social demeanor towards them, and happily reward you. And enjoying that reward, in a very real way VALIDATES your actions towards others.
It's like a self-perpetuating cycle, loosely related to the good-old Golden Rule: You become a man who enriches the lives of others, and your life is enriched to a greater degree.
The secret to success, from a social standpoint, is all in the nature of the outward intentions you have and your ability to execute upon them
Take ANY aspect of this level of social interaction and throw it into disarray, and the entire house of cards comes crashing down.
Here are the four possible sides of what I mean:
1) Offer unconditional validation and goodwill while rejecting validation and goodwill from others
Become a DOORMAT, therefore, and open oneself to easy manipulation. As my friend and I discussed, this can even come off as arrogance, as oddly tragic as that sounds. No matter what, there is no respect for the "giver".
The polar opposite of this state of affairs would be...
2) Feign unconditional positive concern for others, while the real intent is purely selfish gain
This is the very definition of social manipulation.
Now consider the two ends of the spectrum at large...
3) Little positive concern for others, little concern over personal gain.
This illustrates lack of self-respect, and therefore an inability to respect others. This is the stuff personal hopelessness and despair is made of. The "house of cards" has been flattened.
And finally...
4) Genuine unconditional concern for others, expectation of positive response from others.
This is, by definition, what "mutual respect" is all about. In order to truly respect (and therefore enrich) others we MUST hold our own measure of self-respect to a golden standard. We do not allow ourselves to tolerate mistreatment by others, even as we treat others fairly and reasonably.
The "house of cards" is transformed into a "tower of power" at this point.
Do you see now how all of that (respect, approval, neediness, selfishness, selflessness and manipulation) works together?
If not, read this newsletter several times until it starts to make sense. Doing so could illuminate your ability to deserve what you want more than most people will ever comprehend.
Just for good measure, here are some other thoughts that my friend and I discussed on the phone...all pertinent.
1) A "needy" or "clingy" approval-seeker's primary problem is that he is still in his own head, rather than considering others first. "Neediness" means he is preoccupied about getting his own needs met. The one who is willing to prioritize GIVING validation over RECEIVING validation is the one who is more likely to GET validation and approval. This is because such approval is a REWARD rather than something that is demanded.
2) Similarly, RESPECT cannot be demanded effectively anymore than approval. He who respects himself enough to NOT be a doormat, can respect others accordingly. The desired level of respect is therefore naturally "earned" in a "bloodless coup" of sorts. Contrast this with "badboy" guys who "command" respect through fear and intimidation. The "respect" afforded them is hollow, and therefore unfulfilling...especially from women.
3) "Manipulation" is the fake "shadow" of effective social skill. It's an imitation, exactly as "pickup techniques" are an "imitation" of genuine manhood in a social context with attractive women. The manipulator should only expect to effectively manipulate "doormats", who will have no real foundation for bestowing respect, as we've already noted. In other words, "manipulation" cannot bring about genuine respect or approval...only disingenuous imitations thereof.
4) The manipulator is "self-serving", which is a perversion of "self-respecting" in every sense. The manipulator's mindset is not evolved enough to realize that ham fisting one's desired results on one's own terms can only-at best-result in the effect the manipulator himself envisions. Meanwhile...
5) ...He who respects self and therefore others finds that his social rewards are lavished upon him by others on THEIR terms, which very often exceeds imagination's grasp...and typically BETTER and MORE EXCITING than any outcome that could have been manipulated. So by definition, this experience far exceeds any potential hollow "fulfillment"
And ALL OF THE ABOVE, when considered together, should describe once and for all why the sex-focused man complains that women are "dead lays".
Similarly, now you have a clear picture as to why the man who provides leadership with confidence, direction and-most of all-genuine positive concern is the one you'll NEVER hear complaining that there are "no good women in [insert your country here] nowadays".
He operates with a clear conscience. He naturally draws the adoration and respect of those around, especially highly desirable women. It is he who understands how it is a man becomes a "chooser" versus a "chaser".
He deserves what he wants.
###
Scot McKay's dating strategies for those who refuse to settle and choose to deserve what they want are found at: http://www.relationship-advice.us/ Stop by right now and Scot will personally send you a FREE e-book ($27 value) and a FREE 8-part mini-course ($47 value) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter, which is always packed with unique and practical dating tips.
When we talk about social skills as it relates to attracting women, the conversation typically centers around a very finite number of variables.
Most of these variables involve polar opposites with regard to what we as individuals DO and DON'T want evident in our public-facing persona.
For example, most of us would rather not resort to manipulation in order to get what we want in any aspect of life, especially as it pertains to women.
And true to deserving what we want, we absolutely positively don't want to BE manipulated either.
Further, most of us who aren't psychopathic by nature want to be seen as generous towards others in thought, word and deed. You know--the kind of person who makes everyone's life just a bit more fulfilling and exciting just by being around.
But we'd rather not become everyone's doormat in the process, either.
Perhaps most of all, we dread being "needy" or "clingy" and therefore perceived as someone who is an approval seeker. After all, those who SEEK approval are typically viewed by others as the most starved for it, and therefore those LEAST deserving of it naturally.
Yet...every normal red-blooded human being walking this planet desires to be loved...and therefore "approved", by definition.
Ironic, isn't it?
Indeed, we hear ideas about the individual importance of all of these different concepts bantered about every day, from any and every corner of the wide world of "dating advice".
But what we encounter FAR LESS OFTEN is talk about how all of those factors INTERRELATE.
It's relatively easy to dissect each facet of human interaction and describe it in a vacuum. And you bet that can be valuable conversation.
But without the ability combine all of the right moves into that ever-elusive state of "effective social skill", we flat-out will NEVER be able to attain maximum ability to deserve what we want.
So today, once and for all, I'd like to draw all of those components together for you and demonstrate how they interact...even as WE interact with one another.
Because, you see, I believe this is where the "light bulb" is going to go on for many of us.
Much of the time the advice you read about not being needy, avoiding clinginess, and eliminating manipulative tendencies plays something like a Nike ad: "Just Do It". Putting practical concepts behind such ideas can be elusive.
But we've recently discussed practical steps toward actual, tangible confidence (Real Confidence) and masculinity (Power Sessions, VIRTUOSITY) in our programs for guys, and today I'm going to give you the same level of actual, tangible answers regarding the topic at hand.
Last night I was on the phone with one of the guys who is about midway through the Ten-Plus program. He had brought up an interesting issue earlier in the day via e-mail:
"I have realized that all the things I have done to make the changes that I've been making have been for the purpose of obtaining positive responses from people. Perhaps what I've done is valid, but I did it to be liked. I did it to try and manipulate things, namely how people perceive me."
When I called him and started listening to more about what he was getting at, it occurred to me that he actually felt a bit guilty about his newfound ability to elicit very positive reactions from people thanks to recent changes in social habits.
What threw me was that he used the word "manipulate" to describe how he felt he had brought all of this about.
But when I finally grasped exactly what he was feeling, I simply-non-eloquently-stated, "Dude, you aren't a 'manipulator' simply because people are giving you the type of social approval you've always desired. You have every human right to be appreciated--to be approved of. We all want that, and it's not at all a negative thing to enjoy the logical, natural results of being generous, giving, and downright cool towards people. And there's no GUILT in being attractive to women"
The words were more of an epiphany to him than I could have dreamed while I was uttering them.
And the more we discussed, the more the social concepts that repeatedly vex those who struggle with women (and indeed all things social, in many cases) started coming together before our very eyes.
In reality, being AUTHENTIC about wanting to make the lives of those around you better NATURALLY begets approval from those around you.
Others appreciate your social demeanor towards them, and happily reward you. And enjoying that reward, in a very real way VALIDATES your actions towards others.
It's like a self-perpetuating cycle, loosely related to the good-old Golden Rule: You become a man who enriches the lives of others, and your life is enriched to a greater degree.
The secret to success, from a social standpoint, is all in the nature of the outward intentions you have and your ability to execute upon them
Take ANY aspect of this level of social interaction and throw it into disarray, and the entire house of cards comes crashing down.
Here are the four possible sides of what I mean:
1) Offer unconditional validation and goodwill while rejecting validation and goodwill from others
Become a DOORMAT, therefore, and open oneself to easy manipulation. As my friend and I discussed, this can even come off as arrogance, as oddly tragic as that sounds. No matter what, there is no respect for the "giver".
The polar opposite of this state of affairs would be...
2) Feign unconditional positive concern for others, while the real intent is purely selfish gain
This is the very definition of social manipulation.
Now consider the two ends of the spectrum at large...
3) Little positive concern for others, little concern over personal gain.
This illustrates lack of self-respect, and therefore an inability to respect others. This is the stuff personal hopelessness and despair is made of. The "house of cards" has been flattened.
And finally...
4) Genuine unconditional concern for others, expectation of positive response from others.
This is, by definition, what "mutual respect" is all about. In order to truly respect (and therefore enrich) others we MUST hold our own measure of self-respect to a golden standard. We do not allow ourselves to tolerate mistreatment by others, even as we treat others fairly and reasonably.
The "house of cards" is transformed into a "tower of power" at this point.
Do you see now how all of that (respect, approval, neediness, selfishness, selflessness and manipulation) works together?
If not, read this newsletter several times until it starts to make sense. Doing so could illuminate your ability to deserve what you want more than most people will ever comprehend.
Just for good measure, here are some other thoughts that my friend and I discussed on the phone...all pertinent.
1) A "needy" or "clingy" approval-seeker's primary problem is that he is still in his own head, rather than considering others first. "Neediness" means he is preoccupied about getting his own needs met. The one who is willing to prioritize GIVING validation over RECEIVING validation is the one who is more likely to GET validation and approval. This is because such approval is a REWARD rather than something that is demanded.
2) Similarly, RESPECT cannot be demanded effectively anymore than approval. He who respects himself enough to NOT be a doormat, can respect others accordingly. The desired level of respect is therefore naturally "earned" in a "bloodless coup" of sorts. Contrast this with "badboy" guys who "command" respect through fear and intimidation. The "respect" afforded them is hollow, and therefore unfulfilling...especially from women.
3) "Manipulation" is the fake "shadow" of effective social skill. It's an imitation, exactly as "pickup techniques" are an "imitation" of genuine manhood in a social context with attractive women. The manipulator should only expect to effectively manipulate "doormats", who will have no real foundation for bestowing respect, as we've already noted. In other words, "manipulation" cannot bring about genuine respect or approval...only disingenuous imitations thereof.
4) The manipulator is "self-serving", which is a perversion of "self-respecting" in every sense. The manipulator's mindset is not evolved enough to realize that ham fisting one's desired results on one's own terms can only-at best-result in the effect the manipulator himself envisions. Meanwhile...
5) ...He who respects self and therefore others finds that his social rewards are lavished upon him by others on THEIR terms, which very often exceeds imagination's grasp...and typically BETTER and MORE EXCITING than any outcome that could have been manipulated. So by definition, this experience far exceeds any potential hollow "fulfillment"
And ALL OF THE ABOVE, when considered together, should describe once and for all why the sex-focused man complains that women are "dead lays".
Similarly, now you have a clear picture as to why the man who provides leadership with confidence, direction and-most of all-genuine positive concern is the one you'll NEVER hear complaining that there are "no good women in [insert your country here] nowadays".
He operates with a clear conscience. He naturally draws the adoration and respect of those around, especially highly desirable women. It is he who understands how it is a man becomes a "chooser" versus a "chaser".
He deserves what he wants.
###
Scot McKay's dating strategies for those who refuse to settle and choose to deserve what they want are found at: http://www.relationship-advice.us/ Stop by right now and Scot will personally send you a FREE e-book ($27 value) and a FREE 8-part mini-course ($47 value) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter, which is always packed with unique and practical dating tips.
Dating Web Sites - How to Represent the Real You
Dating internet services are becoming increasingly popular. They appeal to people who are too busy with work and other obligations to get out and meet potential partners. They also appeal to those who are tired of the so-called "dating game" and just want to find somebody with whom they are compatible. Most dating sites work in a similar fashion; you fill out a profile, and perhaps browse others' profiles until you find a potential match.
It sounds easy enough, but having success with a dating site can require a little creativity, honesty, and hard work on your part. Creating an online profile that reflects the real you isn't as simple as it seems; if you've tried to do so, you'll probably understand what I mean. It requires you to be honest - with potential mates and with yourself. At the same time, you need to portray yourself in a positive manner, or else you might scare possible love matches off.
It might help if you approach creating an online profile that reflects the real you as you would a job interview. You need to succinctly and accurately describe the most important characteristics of your personality. You should include things such as likes and dislikes, hobbies and interests, and any other information that you feel is relevant.
At the same time, you don't want to write a novel; your profile should be in-depth enough to generate interest, yet concise enough for a person to read easily. Nobody wants to read a huge wall of text, and may be put off if that's what they're confronted with when they click on your profile.
Before creating an online profile that reflects the real you, stop and think. Put yourself in someone else's shoes - what sorts of things would you want to know about a potential love match? What attracts or repels you to another person's profile? It might also be helpful to ask a close friend or family member for help when you're writing your profile. Sometimes they can alert you to positive qualities that you may have not ever noticed about yourself!
Most importantly, don't rush through the creation of your profile. If you're really serious about finding a partner through a dating site, then give the process the time and effort it deserves. Take the time to upload a photo (or several photos) of yourself, and always, always be sure to use a spellchecker before submitting the written portion of your profile.
If it looks like you've taken your profile seriously, you're more likely to get serious inquiries. Nobody is going to be impressed by a rush job rife with spelling and grammatical errors, nor with a profile lacking a photograph or creative and informative content.
Creating an online profile that reflects the real you can be a challenge, but it's worth giving your best effort. When you sit down at the computer to create your profile, make sure you have the time to devote to it. Pay attention to detail, ask others for their input, and be honest. Also, don't hesitate to be creative! You don't want to be too "out there," but it can't hurt to add a little "oomph" to your profile to make it stand out!
To get more info on eharmony and other great online dating services, be sure to check out this great site about web dating (TopTenDatingServices.com). You will be glad you did.
It sounds easy enough, but having success with a dating site can require a little creativity, honesty, and hard work on your part. Creating an online profile that reflects the real you isn't as simple as it seems; if you've tried to do so, you'll probably understand what I mean. It requires you to be honest - with potential mates and with yourself. At the same time, you need to portray yourself in a positive manner, or else you might scare possible love matches off.
It might help if you approach creating an online profile that reflects the real you as you would a job interview. You need to succinctly and accurately describe the most important characteristics of your personality. You should include things such as likes and dislikes, hobbies and interests, and any other information that you feel is relevant.
At the same time, you don't want to write a novel; your profile should be in-depth enough to generate interest, yet concise enough for a person to read easily. Nobody wants to read a huge wall of text, and may be put off if that's what they're confronted with when they click on your profile.
Before creating an online profile that reflects the real you, stop and think. Put yourself in someone else's shoes - what sorts of things would you want to know about a potential love match? What attracts or repels you to another person's profile? It might also be helpful to ask a close friend or family member for help when you're writing your profile. Sometimes they can alert you to positive qualities that you may have not ever noticed about yourself!
Most importantly, don't rush through the creation of your profile. If you're really serious about finding a partner through a dating site, then give the process the time and effort it deserves. Take the time to upload a photo (or several photos) of yourself, and always, always be sure to use a spellchecker before submitting the written portion of your profile.
If it looks like you've taken your profile seriously, you're more likely to get serious inquiries. Nobody is going to be impressed by a rush job rife with spelling and grammatical errors, nor with a profile lacking a photograph or creative and informative content.
Creating an online profile that reflects the real you can be a challenge, but it's worth giving your best effort. When you sit down at the computer to create your profile, make sure you have the time to devote to it. Pay attention to detail, ask others for their input, and be honest. Also, don't hesitate to be creative! You don't want to be too "out there," but it can't hurt to add a little "oomph" to your profile to make it stand out!
To get more info on eharmony and other great online dating services, be sure to check out this great site about web dating (TopTenDatingServices.com). You will be glad you did.
Getting Back Into the Dating Game
If you've gone through a divorce and are ready to start going out on dates again, there are a few important things to keep in mind. Sometimes dating after a divorce can be intimidating for a person. Getting back into dating after a divorce can be tough. I have heard some people say that they forget how to date, or that the thrill is gone for them.
Most of the time, what this is really about is insecurity. Getting back on that horse after a divorce can be scary because you've likely had your heart broken by your former partner. Now, your confidence has been shaken and you wonder if you're really up to the task of wooing somebody else. Well you know what? You are. It just takes some practice.
First, though, it's crucial that you're getting back into the game for the right reasons. Don't let your good intentioned family or friends talk you into doing it before you're ready, and don't feel pressure to start seeing other people just because your former husband or wife is doing so. Rushing back into it before you're ready is almost a guaranteed way to ensure that it won't work.
As for the cold feet, just accept that there might be some "first time" jitters, and then get on with it. Recognize that there is a difference between not being ready to date and being nervous about it. It's perfectly acceptable and normal to be nervous! Take solace in the knowledge that it will become easier the more you do it.
Another concern people often have is that they don't know where to meet a potential love interest. Some of them feel like the bar scene no longer interests them. Others might find that everyone in their social circle is spoken for - this is natural, as married couples tend to seek out other married couples for friendship.
But, don't despair. There are alternatives to hitting up bars or relying on your friends set you up on blind dates. For example, online dating is becoming increasingly popular. It gives you the opportunity to meet potential partners without a lot of the hassle that is typically associated with putting yourself out there. Sometimes people who are getting back into dating after a divorce find this method to be the least threatening, as well.
Lastly, don't expect too much too soon. It's fine to date with the ultimate goal of finding that special person to settle down with, but it's not a good idea to be too intense about finding him or her. Remember to enjoy yourself, and treat the process first and foremost as a way to have fun and meet new people.
If you don't have success right away, don't give up. Chalk bad dates up to nothing more than learning experiences or funny stories you can use to entertain your friends. Remember that you have a lot to offer to the right man or woman, and don't settle for someone who doesn't make you happy! Getting back into dating after a divorce doesn't need to be scary - with the right attitude, it can be fun and exciting!
To get more info on eharmony and other great online dating services, be sure to check out this great site about web dating (TopTenDatingServices.com). You will be glad you did.
Most of the time, what this is really about is insecurity. Getting back on that horse after a divorce can be scary because you've likely had your heart broken by your former partner. Now, your confidence has been shaken and you wonder if you're really up to the task of wooing somebody else. Well you know what? You are. It just takes some practice.
First, though, it's crucial that you're getting back into the game for the right reasons. Don't let your good intentioned family or friends talk you into doing it before you're ready, and don't feel pressure to start seeing other people just because your former husband or wife is doing so. Rushing back into it before you're ready is almost a guaranteed way to ensure that it won't work.
As for the cold feet, just accept that there might be some "first time" jitters, and then get on with it. Recognize that there is a difference between not being ready to date and being nervous about it. It's perfectly acceptable and normal to be nervous! Take solace in the knowledge that it will become easier the more you do it.
Another concern people often have is that they don't know where to meet a potential love interest. Some of them feel like the bar scene no longer interests them. Others might find that everyone in their social circle is spoken for - this is natural, as married couples tend to seek out other married couples for friendship.
But, don't despair. There are alternatives to hitting up bars or relying on your friends set you up on blind dates. For example, online dating is becoming increasingly popular. It gives you the opportunity to meet potential partners without a lot of the hassle that is typically associated with putting yourself out there. Sometimes people who are getting back into dating after a divorce find this method to be the least threatening, as well.
Lastly, don't expect too much too soon. It's fine to date with the ultimate goal of finding that special person to settle down with, but it's not a good idea to be too intense about finding him or her. Remember to enjoy yourself, and treat the process first and foremost as a way to have fun and meet new people.
If you don't have success right away, don't give up. Chalk bad dates up to nothing more than learning experiences or funny stories you can use to entertain your friends. Remember that you have a lot to offer to the right man or woman, and don't settle for someone who doesn't make you happy! Getting back into dating after a divorce doesn't need to be scary - with the right attitude, it can be fun and exciting!
To get more info on eharmony and other great online dating services, be sure to check out this great site about web dating (TopTenDatingServices.com). You will be glad you did.
How To Get Girls
Want to really find out How to get girls?
One of the factors that a girl looks for is self-control. Calling them three times a day when you just met the girl is not the way to get girls. The most important concept that you must learn to get girls is that less is more. The more hot a girl is, the more guys that will be trying to ask her out. When she meets a dude she wants, she gives them her phone number.
In any given week, she may give her phone number to three guys. One guy, which never gets any girls, calls her the same day, and another guy, who doesn't get girls either, calls her the very next day. Since this girl has been romanced by men all her life, she is always getting phone calls from men trying to ask her out. Most men call the very next day.
If you, the smart person, calls her a week later, then you will be different than everyone else. If you want to get girls, NEVER call them less than 7 days after getting their phone number. The longer a girl has to think about you, the more she will like you. The important thing to is that if she gave you her phone number, then she must be into you.
Do not rush it because you know that she likes you, and as she keeps wondering if you will ever call, she will start to like you more. If you want to get girls, always remember to have self-control.
Check out How to get girls for more info.
One of the factors that a girl looks for is self-control. Calling them three times a day when you just met the girl is not the way to get girls. The most important concept that you must learn to get girls is that less is more. The more hot a girl is, the more guys that will be trying to ask her out. When she meets a dude she wants, she gives them her phone number.
In any given week, she may give her phone number to three guys. One guy, which never gets any girls, calls her the same day, and another guy, who doesn't get girls either, calls her the very next day. Since this girl has been romanced by men all her life, she is always getting phone calls from men trying to ask her out. Most men call the very next day.
If you, the smart person, calls her a week later, then you will be different than everyone else. If you want to get girls, NEVER call them less than 7 days after getting their phone number. The longer a girl has to think about you, the more she will like you. The important thing to is that if she gave you her phone number, then she must be into you.
Do not rush it because you know that she likes you, and as she keeps wondering if you will ever call, she will start to like you more. If you want to get girls, always remember to have self-control.
Check out How to get girls for more info.
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